Like Your Image on Your Terms Without Wearing a Mask
What’s Your Self Image?
In my work, there is a lot of focus on internal aspects. How we feel, what we believe, old patterns, habits, or beliefs that get in the way of us creating the results we want. We also look at our longings and desires and at how we sometimes unintentionally sabotage ourselves.
This article is focused on how you see yourself, and provides you with an opportunity to assess different aspects of your self-image. Below are some categories related to self-image. Answer the questions and rate yourself on a scale from 0 to 10, with zero being “I hate it” and 10 being “I’m happy with my current state.”
Your body image – includes your body, face, and hair, how you dress and how you feel about your overall look.
Your health – includes how you feel about your overall state of health, age, and well-being.
Your eating habits – how you feel about your diet and if there are changes you would like to make.
Your weight – (if you didn’t already include that under health or eating). How do you feel about your weight? Can you accept it or is that something you don’t talk about?
Your fitness level (if you didn’t already include that above). Do you exercise regularly? Do you feel strong and fit? What would you like to change?
These are all highly subjective, and it’s really important that as you take stock and rate where you are that you check in and ask yourself if these answers are your truth – how you want this to be and not what is expected of you or some ideal that you feel you are pressured to live up to, but is not really anything you would actually feel motivated to accomplish. So check in honestly.
I want to tell a story about being seen and being visible, because in order to step into your power in your business and in your personal life, you need to be willing to be fully visible for who you really are, warts and all. For most of us that is a challenge.
I personally still struggle with the naked vulnerable feeling that comes with full visibility. That is in spite of the fact that I have an undergraduate degree in theatre and earned a living as a performer for years, and did public speaking on various topics. The work I do now doesn’t allow for uniforms, masks, or characters to hide behind; it actually requires that I be fully, authentically visible as me, because prospective clients can’t find me when they can’t see or feel me. This is probably true for you and your prospective clients as well, and possibly for your soulmate, should you be looking for one of those. If they can’t see you and feel you, they can’t find you energetically.
So here comes the story …
My coach, Jonathan Sprinkles, says you can’t leave your own footprint if you’re walking in someone else’s shoes. I could contribute to that saying by adding you can’t leave your own footprint if you never found your feet.
In my recent blog/article (previous chapter) I wrote about some internal parts of myself as an embryonic oyster, and a wooden table leg that transformed into a scorpion.
Those of you who are familiar with my story know that I was adopted, and rejection and abandonment have been lifelong issues for me. With fear of rejection comes fear of full visibility as well. When you’re adopted away as an infant (given away, not kept), there are some wounds that just don’t seem to heal completely, no matter how much therapy you have sweated through.
So my dear friend and healer extraordinaire, Denyce Giannioses, suggested that the embryonic oyster that kept blobbing around in my mind was the moment of discovery when my biological mother first discovered that she was pregnant, and I was now “seen” for the very first time as who I was to become in this life. The very “tadpole” beginning of me today. And what if her reaction was one of horror and fear when she discovered that she was pregnant? Based on everything she told me once I met her, the pregnancy wasn’t planned or desired. I wasn’t planned or desired. What kind of an impact could the shock and terror of being discovered and seen for the first time have on the one being seen?
I was sitting on my friend Denyce’s couch listening to her idea, and the resistance was thick. I didn’t want to consider it, thought it a bit “hogwash, far-out, psycho-babble,” which is humorous because a big part of my own client work is considered by some “hogwash, far-out, psycho-babble.” Hah! Denyce brought out a book full of pictures of developing embryos, and I know my “oyster” is 6 to 7 weeks old. I became very uncomfortable. I wanted to do anything but sit there and accept that there were parts of me that have never seen the light of day and have never been acknowledged, because they were stopped right there, frozen in time in what is called a trauma capsule. That part was all excited to be here, to come in, to be alive and then it was met with “oh shit, what’s that!” Followed by “Oh no, I don’t want a baby. What the f… am I going to do?” I just shriveled up all my excitement and tried to hide in a corner and stay small, invisible and deeply disappointed.
Denyce said, what if you were to bring that oyster into you today? I can do that I said, but it feels very scary. I kept looking at the oyster and a little pearl had appeared next to it inside the half shell. Can you let it be there and fill you up? I wanted to put it in my uterus and allow it to expand from there. I did. First it filled me up completely, then it started to expand beyond my physical body into my energy field. Some tears and talk later it slowly expanded its energy and filled my entire aura.
I have walked differently since that session. A split-off piece of self that I couldn’t even have identified as missing found its way home. The more I do this kind of work for myself, and the more I facilitate it for clients, the clearer it becomes that we “healers” don’t heal anyone; what we do is provide the safe space and container for the body-mind-spirit to heal itself. All we do is prompt the process and keep the client out of the way of that healing process.
My feet have felt a bit more planted, and I’m sure I leave a deeper imprint since that session with Denyce. I feel like I see myself more fully as part of the fallible, the weak, the strong, and the whole, through and through, perfectly imperfect humanly human.